Our newswire dork attempts a slightly different format today, which is less of a pain in the ass to generate but just as nauseating for readers, just to shake things up when things are sluggish! Win, win!
Greetings, Cleveland Browns supporters!
I sat down yesterday to lament and gripe about how hard it was to put together the OBR Daily Newswire, which was a landmark edition. Specifically, these days, it takes sifting through a forest of repetitious articles and other types of garbage to discover any meaningful news from Browns. The sites are primarily formulaic, with paywalls and content that is centered around rehashing the newest trend on Twitter.
Rather than dismissing said complaints, which would have been wise, I received some support from my readers, who essentially advised me to focus less on providing a comprehensive list of links and maybe more on providing a select few that are either really good or that I at least want to discuss. They also instructed me to distribute pictures of breakfast sausages, which I haven’t succeeded in doing—at least not yet—just because I’m too lazy to look for a lot of them.
So, let’s try it. Let’s focus on a couple of articles that I interpreted as worth sharing this Thursday morning.
Bengals Release AJ McCarron, a Fan Favorite (FOX 19)
The only reason it’s included is that it reminds us of the good times under Sashi Brown’s rule. When head coach Hue Jackson insisted on trading off a couple of Day Two draft picks for McCarron, Sashi Brown abruptly lost the ability to operate a fax machine. Enticed by the success of McCarron’s college squad, Jackson was later shown to be an inaccurate assessor of quarterback potential when McCarron failed to replicate that success with the Bengals, Raiders, and Texans. Sashi, meanwhile, has returned to a front office position with the Ratbirds and will live on in Cleveland for sparing the organization from a Jacksonian mistake caused by his fortuitous inability to use basic office equipment correctly.
Mailbag: What prevented Jim Schwartz from being considered for head coaching positions? (Telegram-Chronicle of Elyria)
While Scott Petrak responds to some standard mailbag inquiries, he wonders why Jim Schwarz, the Assistant Coach of the Year, wasn’t given a whiff about any head coaching jobs. Schwartz’s age (57) and past health problems probably had an impact as well as his overall record as the Lions’ head coach.
Cleveland Browns 2025 Super Bowl odds and Five Teams Set to Take a Major Fall in 2024 (CBS) (WKYC)
As Fred and I discussed on Friday night’s OBR Weekly, I’m perplexed by the latest wave of publications predicting the Cleveland Browns’ demise in 2024. They might be connected to a generalized mistrust of the Browns based on 25 years of consecutive seasons of disappointment, or they might be due to a lack of faith in Deshaun Watson. For whatever reason, even before the off-season kicks off, the Browns are mysteriously selected to collapse badly in 2024. For a team that advanced to the playoffs in spite of numerous setbacks that were surmounted by a tenacious group, it defies logic.
DJ Lisa Lopez, KC radio anchor, was murdered in the parade shooting (terrible announcing), and all twelve parade victims at the children’s hospital in Kansas City will fully recover (PFT)
When I checked the normal wire sources this morning at five and seven in the morning, I discovered that there was absolutely no mention of yesterday’s Chiefs Super Bowl parade shooting in the Browns coverage. We’re just local sports chroniclers, so I guess we have no business making comments.
We attempt to escape the gloomy news of the real world by immersing ourselves in local sports, so maybe that’s for the best. However, the two came together yesterday, and we should take a minute to honor the supporters who, like us, were cheering for their team and were scared. I know this isn’t the place to address social issues, but this morning’s distraction and rage are real. For whatever reason, I feel forced to acknowledge that this incident had place, and even though we should shun politics and conversations of that nature like the plague, we should at least acknowledge the suffering and loss that occurred in Kansas City.
May God bless all those affected, and let us pray that the PFT report indicating the children’s recovery is true.
Sorry to conclude on such a negative note, but that’s just the way the world works.
Instead of me trying to put together 700 words on a random topic every morning, let me know if you like the structure. I’ll keep adjusting and tinkering with this thing until it’s acceptable for me to write without experiencing severe pain in my tuckus and less nauseating for you to read.
Positive news from the world of sports and beyond…
In just a couple of months, something incredibly special will happen in Northeast Ohio, that’s never happened in my lifetime: a total eclipse of the sun. This incredible event, which could be life-changing for many, promises to be a very special moment because, among other things, the sun’s activity will be at a maximum at the time.
The closest I ever got to see an eclipse was a number of years ago, during my final visit to my parents before they both became disabled by illness and that was, at best, a darkening of the skies at their home in Georgia. It is still memorable both for the event and the company, but nothing like what will come across Northern Ohio in a matter of weeks.
Jake and Andrew return with some NFL coaching buzz regarding a former DL coach and a recognizable name from the past interviewing in Cleveland. Then they shift to another of the 2023 positional reviews with the offensive tackle position. They assign grades for collective performance, who stays/leaves in 2024, and the position’s best “path to improvement” including free agency and draft angles early in the off-season process. The discussions here center around how they navigate having three options at offensive tackle but none of which should be on the bench given money and development.
Jake and Andrew return with some NFL coaching buzz regarding a former DL coach and a recognizable name from the past interviewing in Cleveland. Then they shift to another of the 2023 positional reviews with the offensive tackle position. They assign grades for collective performance, who stays/leaves in 2024, and the position’s best “path to improvement” including free agency and draft angles early in the off-season process. The discussions here center around how they navigate having three options at offensive tackle but none of which should be on the bench given money and development.
